1, 2, Smashin Portaloos

Me and the boys were extra busy on Saturday and managed to push a fair few of these badboys over. The faggoty one seen in the photo was bolted down to the trailer. Shit and piss had all poured out onto the path by the next day as seen in the photo. It could quite possibly be the worst thing i've smelt. I've smelt some pretty dirty shit.

Durt.

Dont you just love construction site toilets.

The toilet roll holder is made from a cone, pvc pipe and 3 toilet roll tubes.

What better to wash your hands with than Industrial Hand Cleaner.

On Friday I

Pooed in Perth Colleges pool.

It sunk and was night, therefore no photo.

I finished work early today and swung passed the school to get the scoop. Luckily the pool was being used by some girls.




Flicks \/

Payback

It was a measly form of payback but still kinda funny. Exomod recently informed me and my friends we are not welcome inside or outside of Exomod anymore. Not only this, but also they will refuse to serve us. I did the only mature thing someone would do in the situation and went in to the shop to sort it out.

I left a mean upper decker in their toilet for an unsuspecting customer. The shock of poo and shitty water "cleansing" the bowl will surely lead to a complaint.

Scatman scores!

Side Project

www.soontobelarge.blogspot.com

A new project that is going to be killer.

Check it.

Word on the street is

Poos Aint Poos

Yeah, i dont get it either. I just figured it was relevant. If Poos Aint Poos...Who am i? Where am i from? Is there a purpose to my life? Is this all some sick conspiracy?

Word.

Scatman Shoots for 3!

The other day at Exomod, after not sleeping for 24 hours and consuming a heap of caffeine i was feeling kinda crazy. Instead of emptying my waste like a normal human I decided to spice it up a little. The goal was made and i began to shoot. The first few balls missed but the last 2 were right on target. Luckily they scored just before the buzzer. Scatman wins again.

Shitfaced

The title says it all!


I have been waiting for a friend of mine to upload some party pics of people yakking, passed out etc. I feel it has taken too long and need some sort of party flick on here, or else it will all just be about poos and thats no fun.

I have made a fair few posts lately, for a change. I'll see how long i can keep it up.

I dont happen to know the girl/boy/thing in this photo, i don't really think i want to either. I would like to congratulate the mastermind behind this.









Also wanted to add, i have a few mates who do this.

Shumins Video

Title is irrelevant.

This is a fucking hilarious video my main man Shakey discovered. Catch his whacky adventures here.

I will try to not make posting youtube videos a habit. Youtube doesnt have many videos raw enough for this blog anyway.

I saw an old man, dressed up as a lady, scratching his balls and going through a bin today in Maylands. I wanted a flick so bad, but didnt have a camera. It was the funniest thing i've seen.

Anyway make sure you peep this.

A workout video, that teaches me english aswell.

A Spontaneous Decision

I wasnt satisfied.

I decided what i did wasnt enough. I needed more. Something to make Transperth aware that there actions, result in harsh consequences.


I began to search for an email to contact the shitbitches on. Finally i succeeded.




I then began to type the angriest and most expressive email i could. It went a little something like this.


This email above says "You'se cunts are gay. Feel big punish"


Mission completed.

Fuck Transperth

I have been working real hard as of lately. I have been painting my arse off and was looking forward to the weekend. Friday came, and i put in extra effort so that when i arrived home and sat on the couch, it would feel even more worth it. I went to get on the bus and asked for a 90cent ticket, which is the amount i spend on tickets getting home every afternoon. The driver politely said "Yeah sure, can i please just see your concession card?" I began to panic as i knew i didn't have a concession card in my possession. I said "Yeah, no problem" and began to look through my pockets playing it cool. After a realistic length of searching time, i pulled my shocked, scared and cute face all in one, and might i say, i feel i pulled it off pretty well. I then apologized and told him i dont have it on me. He all of a sudden snapped and turned into a fuckin jerk. He rudely told me, in this bus driver tone "$2.30 please". I explained to the dimwit, i didn't have $2.30. His response, "Take your money, turn around and get off my bus". I replied how anyone else would reply in that situation by saying "Are you fucking serious?". Quick to respond the driver said "Take your money, turn around and get off my bus, security are being called". I proceeded to yell "Fuck" at the top of my lungs in rage and followed the mans orders.


I then dealt with the situation just as any normal human being would. I handled it in 2 easy ways.


The first, after i was off the bus, the driver closed the doors, i proceeded to punch fuck through it, giving it all i've got. The bus began to drive and i continued slamming my fists into the side of the shitbus. He opened, then yelled out the doors as he was controlling the vehicle in flee mode, "Security are coming". I then went on to punch the bustop till everyone in the cars around were pointing and mouthing "What the fuck". This was the end of step 1.


The second way i dealt with it, also in a normal fashion, was grabbing anything in my household i could that had the words Transperth on it. I then entered my bathroom, and made a little nest for my doo, using bus tickets, a bus timetable and train tickets. I let loose on Transperth and proceeded by wiping with tickets, and throwing them ontop of The Public Transport Punisher (thats what i called the poo). It made me feel a whole lot better.








This vented my rage, but the toilet made a sudden decision to overflow. Before water made it out of the bowl, i plunged the bus timetable mad hard with the toilet brush. Let's hope it doesnt clog.


Once again, the day was saved, by....The Scat Man!

Thats a hugeeee bitch

I havent posted in a long time, mainly because the one and only Scatman has been brewing something BIG. Today i took, the most beastly of beast shits, that makes The Big Show, Yao Ming and Buddha all look like little bitches. I unleashed my bowels on the innocent toilet bowl and lost approximately 14 kilos. I flushed the toilet and returned to my lair. I didnt get too comfortable as i was disturbed when my youngest brother began yelling "THERES A HUGE PIECE OF POO IN THE TOILET THAT WONT FLUSH!"

I came to my little brothers aid, and began to try flush away the leftovers of my gigantic poo. There was only one piece left, but boy was it big. After flushing 7 times, and still no luck, i decided to give up. It may have won the battle, but it wont win the war. Its fate is now all in my Mothers and Gods hands. All it needs is a little elbow grease ;).



This is a real, lifesize photo of how big the shit really is.













And also, i will be posting pictures of yakdogs, party pics etc. as soon as my unreliable friend will upload them.

An Interesting Discovery

Seeing as 93perfucks recent post is about one of the bloggers younger siblings, i have used this as inspiration for my next post. I was going through my brothers photos and i stumbled upon an interesting photo. It appears to be one of his homosexual friends presenting himself. Kids are disgusting.

Food Poisoning

A curry i digested on the weekend left me in a pretty horrible state. Vomiting, the shits, i felt awful. In between my constant trips from bed to the toilet, i managed to take a photo of a little something i like to call The Stew Poo.

Dont stare into it for too long, as its hypnotising.

First Post

Hey strangers.

Getting straight down to business, my blog will consist of ALL KINDS of crazy shit.

Like whats seen in this picture.